A Little Sleep Goes A Long Way
as featured in Mishpacha Magazine
There’s nothing quite like the joy of motherhood. And that precious little baby in your arms is the biggest blessing ever. So why are you feeling so anxious and frustrated?
Let’s face it. You’re exhausted, sleep deprived, and sluggish. You can’t even think straight. And you’re not alone. A survey from Owlet Baby Care found that 43%, or nearly half, of new parents don’t get more than one to three hours of uninterrupted sleep. Another study reveals that new parents lose 109 minutes of sleep every night for a year after their baby is born. So of course, you’re deeply grateful to Hashem for this precious gift. But when your little one refuses to settle down it can be hard to focus on the positive. Instead, all you can think about is crawling into bed and getting some sleep. It doesn’t have to be this way, says Sarah Nagar, a Certified Pediatric Sleep Specialist. You CAN train your little one to sleep properly and appropriately. You WILL be able to function and feel like a person once again. Meet Sarah, the woman who is passionate about helping moms cope with their little one’s difficult sleep patterns.
Sarah grew up in California. Today she lives in Florida and is the mother of four amazing kids, ages 1 ½ to nine. When her first child was born, she was in for a surprise. And that’s when everything changed. “My first child struggled with sleep,” Sarah remembers. “I reached a point where I found myself in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t enjoy motherhood. It was a really big struggle. I became obsessed with baby sleep.” But instead of succumbing to the frustrations of her new reality, Sarah decided to tackle the issue head on. “I decided I was going to master this,” she said. Sarah did massive research and accumulated a wealth of knowledge on proper sleep training methods and tools. Incredibly, within just days of applying what she had learned, her little boy’s sleep habits dramatically changed. “I was amazed,” Sarah said. Soon, friends and family members were reaching out to Sarah for help with their own baby’s challenging sleep issues. “I realized that so many moms are frustrated and struggling with this,” she said. “And I decided to share what I’ve learned and help others learn how to deal with this very common issue.”
Sarah trained extensively so that she could provide the best possible assistance to her clients. She received certification from the Association for Pediatric Sleep Consultants and the Institute of Pediatric Sleep and Parenting. Additionally, she has been trained under the Sleeping Newborn’s Newborn Care Specialist and Mentorship Program. She is now an official sleep consultant and helps moms of babies and toddlers who are struggling with sleep issues. She teaches moms how to implement proper sleep habits and good sleep hygiene.
Sleep training is hardly a fly-by-night occupation and in fact many pediatricians are on board with it. Sarah is careful to alert parents, before she works with them, to consult with their child’s health care provider before beginning the program to ensure that there are no underlying medical issues that may contribute to the child’s sleep disturbances.
What exactly is sleep training? Well, every baby is different and each family situation is unique. That’s why Sarah spends extensive time discussing the individual circumstances with the baby’s parents. “It’s very customized,” she explains, “based on their family structure, parenting style and philosophies, and what they are comfortable with.”
After an initial consultation, Sarah writes up a sleep plan and a schedule. She gives parents the necessary tools and techniques to make it happen. Most of Sarah’s training is done on Zoom so parents consult with her in the comfort of their own homes. And she will follow up on a regular basis. “I am notorious for my follow- up,” she says. “I want to make sure that it’s working and if necessary, we can make changes. We schedule phone calls and we text each other throughout the process.”
Sarah says her goal is to implement proper sleep hygiene and positive fundamentals from the very beginning. “By a relatively young age,” she explains “even in the newborn stage, most babies are able to sleep on a solid and predictable routine. If the training is done right from the start, parents can eliminate 90 percent of sleep issues down the line.”
It’s easy to see how Sarah is uniquely qualified for her calling. She is soft spoken and pleasant, and at the same time enthusiastic and encouraging. She is one of a handful of sleep trainers in the frum community, and she really gets it. “I sometimes see moms on Zoom and they are a mess,” she says. “They’re just not functioning. I want to get them back on their feet, to go out on a date with their husbands, to spend quality time with their families, and not to be constantly anxious about their baby waking up. I want moms to know that they don’t have to be filled with dread when they come home from the hospital with their newborn.”
Sarah’s clients range from new moms to women in their forties with a houseful of kids. They consult with her on a wide range of topics including pacifiers/bottles/blankets, babysitters and nannies, daytime naps, teething, environmental factors, room sharing, feeding schedules, and much more.
They also discuss special situations. “Over Yom Tov, lots of families travel and that can affect a baby’s sleep patterns. I give parents the tools and methods to minimize disruptions and help their child adjust well to the changes.”
Sarah is also a newborn care specialist, which means she is available to teach new mothers how to deal with all aspects of motherhood. And while the majority of moms she consults with are calling her about their babies, she is also called upon to help mothers who struggle with toddlers who refuse to fall asleep or who climb out of their cribs in the middle of the night. “With toddlers you definitely have to incorporate disciplinary measures,” she says. “They need to learn to recognize boundaries and to respect the time. Deep down they yearn for this. They really want to be on a schedule. Toddlers who are sleep trained actually run upstairs when it’s bedtime. They are happy to go to sleep. I see it all the time.”
It’s not just about sleep, Sarah says. The tools that she teaches can promote good habits that will last for a lifetime. “Babies thrive on structure,” she explains. “They are creatures of habit. Providing them with a routine gives them a sense of security. Once they are on a schedule they are generally less cranky and fussy. There’s less guesswork involved. They actually crave that security.
It’s been documented that much of a baby’s growth occurs during sleep hours.”So certainly, optimal sleep habits can lead to better functioning, increased concentration, enhanced mood, and improved memory retention,” Sarah says. “And while nobody can predict the future, sleep training can only affect these babies positively in the long run. I’ve personally seen remarkable long term results.”
