Siblings Sharing a Room: The Good, The Bad, and Everything In Between

In today’s post we are going to talk all about sibling room sharing, what to expect, the good, the bad and the ugly. So let’s jump right in.

Babies and Toddlers Sharing a Room

First of all, you don’t need to rush babies and toddlers in together if you don’t have to. They will have plenty of time to share a room together when they get a bit older. That being said, maybe you need to move them in together for whatever reason, don’t worry, they will adapt and they will be fine. Just keep reading.

My Top Tips for Babies and Toddlers Sharing a Room

1. Make Sure You Have Independent Sleepers

This is going to be very helpful for everyone. You want to make sure your children are sleeping well so that there is minimal risk of them waking each other up at night and disrupting each other’s sleep.

2. Do One Bedtime Routine for Both Kids

For the most part, it’s easier to kill two birds with one stone and do one bedtime routine for kids of similar ages, where they all prepare for bedtime at the same time, even if they have slightly different bedtimes. Use the time with the child who goes to sleep second for some one-on-one time. This is a great way to maximize your evening so you aren’t stuck doing two or three different bedtimes.

3. Stagger Bedtimes

Staggering bedtimes is recommended to ensure that the more tired child has a chance to fall asleep without being disturbed. You will have less monkeying around and talking with staggered bedtimes.

4. Talk to Your Toddler Before Moving Baby Into the Room

Communicate with your toddler about a sibling joining the room. Explain simple expectations and rules, and get them excited about the change rather than caught off guard by it.

5. Don’t Put the Crib and the Bed Right Next to Each Other

Spread them as far apart as possible. The less likely they are to disturb each other, the better. You want them each getting used to their own space in the room.

6. Use a Noise Machine

One child may be an earlier riser, one may make a lot of noise, or there may be noise outside the room to begin with. A white noise machine helps everyone sleep through the small disturbances.

7. Add Blackout Shades

For the early bird — you want to keep them sleeping until a normal time in the morning, so do what you can to prevent those early morning wakings.

8. Get an Ok-to-Wake Clock for Your Toddler

This will help your toddler understand what time it is and encourage them to stay in bed at bedtime or if they wake up super early in the morning.

9. Childproof the Room

Make 100 percent sure that the room is safe and secure. Fasten bookshelves, use outlet safety covers, lock windows, and do a full safety sweep before moving them in together.

10. Lower Your Expectations

It’s not going to be perfect and that’s okay. Bedtime can often be a bit hectic and you can’t expect a perfectly smooth night every single night. Tantrums will be thrown, bedtime will get delayed. Let it go.

What About Older Children Sharing a Room?

They will initially be very excited to be sharing a room. This excitement can cause some wildness and late nights at first, but they eventually do get used to sleeping together. Stay nearby to remind them that it’s bedtime and reinforce rules and expectations. If need be, you may have to separate them from time to time or stagger bedtimes if they can’t calm down.

My 3-Part Bedtime Routine for Older Kids Sharing a Room

Part 1: Wind Down Time

Give your children fair warning that bedtime is approaching. Allow them to finish up what they need to. Last minute snack or drink, all bedtime prep — brushing teeth, bathroom, etc. — all included. Once finished, they are on their way to bed.

Part 2: Monkey Around Time

That’s right. Give your children 10 to 15 minutes to monkey around. Allow them to talk and play quietly, or read if they want. We know they’re going to do it anyway, so why not allow them the chance to do it with permission? They need to get it out of their system and it’s a great way for them to spend time together at the end of the day. Tell them when they have about 5 minutes left. It also gives them some control over bedtime and makes it feel more relaxed.

Part 3: Bedtime

Now it’s time to really wind down and go to sleep. This can often require some reinforcement on your part, especially when they first start sharing a room. They’ve had ample time to play, they’ve had fair warning — now it’s time to end the fun. Remind them what time it is and that they can do this again tomorrow night. It’s okay to take this privilege away if they are unable to follow bedtime rules.

Are You Afraid to Let Your Kids Share a Room?

If you are afraid, this is so normal. So much unknown territory right here, especially if it’s your first time putting your kids in a room together. Yikes.

All I can say is: yes, they will adapt. Yes, they will get used to sharing a room. Yes, you can definitely move them in together. And yes, there are things you can do to make that transition smooth and workable. It may take time, and not every night will be perfect, but they do get used to room sharing with a sibling… or two, or three.

And honestly? There’s so much value in it beyond just sleep. Sharing a room teaches kids how to share space, how to be a little more patient, a little more selfless. They learn to consider someone else’s needs, not just their own, and that’s a skill that goes way beyond bedtime.

The Benefits of Siblings Sharing a Room

There are a lot of benefits to siblings sharing a room. Here are a few:

• They get a chance to spend quality time together, outside of the hustle and bustle of life, school and home.

• Kids can become more empathetic toward one another.

• They learn to share their space.

• They learn how to set boundaries.

• They will have a tighter bond and friendship, even if they have their arguments and fights.

• There will be more space in your house with them in the same room.

• You will have some nights where bedtime is streamlined and you aren’t dealing with multiple bedtimes.

There’s So Much Beauty in It, Too

I know room sharing isn’t always a choice. Some families share out of necessity, due to space or finances, not because it’s what they would have picked. If that’s your reality, I want you to know there’s beauty in it too, even if it wasn’t the plan. The bond can still form, even in tight quarters.

It’s quiet, the room is dark, there is no one else around, and it’s bedtime — all they have is each other. There is nothing quite like that bond. They learn to rely on each other for comfort and support, respect each other’s space, and create boundaries together.

I see this with my own kids and I often find myself smiling outside the door listening to them whisper and talk about their day. They sneak pen and paper under the covers to make lists of all their plans for the future, come up with creative things they will do over the weekend, projects and activities they will do together. There is nothing quite like that time they get together.

The best part of siblings sharing a room is that they get to just be themselves with each other, giggle behind closed doors, and create memories they’ll take with them wherever they go.

I never shared a room with a sibling and while I am totally fine as an adult, I love hearing the stories my husband tells about sharing a room with his siblings. I often wish I had the opportunity to build those kinds of memories and relationships growing up.

That being said, obviously there is nowhere that says siblings HAVE to share a room. Your child may get to a certain age and request their own room and that’s fine. There comes a point where they may need more space and that’s for each family to figure out.

Whether it’s by choice or necessity, that sibling bond is worth celebrating.

What Happens When One Sibling Wakes the Other Early in the Morning?

This is such a common dilemma, especially when one child is an early riser and the other isn’t. I know it’s happened in my house plenty.

A lot of parents dread putting their kids together for this reason, and I get it. No parent wants to deal with early morning shenanigans, especially if the child who was woken up needs more sleep.

Here are the common questions I hear about this:

• Does the child who gets woken up ever learn to go back to sleep?

• Does the child who gets woken up ever adapt to the noise of their sibling?

• Does the early riser ever learn to just lay quietly in bed?

• Does the early riser ever learn to sleep in later?

These are great questions and they all have factors contributing to their varying answers.

Some children have a very hard time adjusting to a sibling making noise in the morning, so if you have one sensitive sleeper, this may be tough at first. Some adjust quickly and for some it takes time.

In regards to the early rising child, they may be a natural early riser and there is nothing to fix there, or there may be factors contributing to their early rising that you do have control over — like bedtime, daytime activity, daytime sleep, room setup, and so on.

It’s also worth noting: this really only applies once a child is old enough to understand the concept. Eventually, the early rising child is old enough to understand that they cannot wake their sibling, and this issue is usually resolved. Sometimes it just takes a few reminders.

Tips to Help When One Sibling Keeps Waking the Other

Adjust the early riser’s wake time.

If you’re keeping siblings in the room until 7am but one toddler is up at 5, that’s a long stretch to expect them to stay quiet. You’re setting them up to fail. A more realistic wake time — like 6am — can prevent them from waking their sibling out of sheer boredom. Any time after 6am is considered an appropriate, normal wake time.

• Take the early rising child out of the room so as not to wake their sibling.

• Use a stoplight or ok-to-wake clock to help them understand what time it is and remain quiet until it’s time to get up.

• Keep the room dark with blackout shades to prevent early light from waking anyone.

• Use white noise to help the sensitive sleeper tune out small noises.

• Lay out clear rules and expectations for children who are old enough to understand them.

• Don’t be afraid to implement consequences for children who are unable to follow those rules.

Adjusting Your Expectations

While we don’t have full control of what happens after lights out, there are some things we do have control over. We all know they are going to talk after lights out — especially the older kids. We cannot expect them to crash into bed and fall asleep like robots, although wouldn’t that be nice! So lower your expectations when it comes to bedtime. They are going to talk anyway and there’s not much you can do about it. Do yourselves a favor and stop trying to control that.

What you do have control over is how much they get to talk and play, and for how long. You can go in and reinforce bedtime rules and expectations after they’ve had their fun. Worst case scenario, you may have to separate them or take away the privilege of going to sleep together if they cannot be trusted to follow the rules.

Room sharing is not always easy, but it is almost always worth it. You have more control over how this goes than you think, and your kids will surprise you.

What expectations do you have about your child’s sleep?

If you have questions and concerns about your child’s sleep, feel free to send me a message or book a free discovery call so that I can answer all of your questions.